Friday, September 26, 2008

Introspections

“You let me down”

This chat message from my friend J jarred me a bit yesterday. I jagged my memory for something she’d have asked me to do and I forgot – nothing, for something I’d promise to look up for her and didn’t – neither, for something I had to remind her about and forgot myself – nada! So, I asked her about it. She said a team mate has recently started blogging and I was telling her about you. That you have been a regular for 3 years and when she checked my site, the last post was in July! Hmmm, I have been irregularly regular for the last 3 years.

Note from Blog to Anks – This is what happens when you ignore me. You did a 3rd birthday post in December last year. So, I’d be 3 and half years old. Hmph

Anks – Ok, ok, I am sorry bloggie, now can I continue this post?

Blog – Yeah yeah… now you can, because if you don’t it will never get posted.

Anks – Thank you. See, that’s what happens when your blog has a mind of its own. Anyways, the fact is that I have been irregularly regular all this while and never did I expect marriage to get in the way of blogging. And even now, I’d say it’s more of work constraints than marriage constraints. And that led me to think – how has marriage changed my life. Has it changed at all?

I don’t wake up in the morning and get hit by the realization that I am now married. It never did happen – not even on the next morning or the next or the next. I still go to work, spend hours to travel everyday and reach home after dark. So, in that sense life hasn’t changed much. If you move away from the mundane, I am still the carefree person who looks for momentary pleasures building up to a happy hour, happy day and happy life. There are pressures and responsibilities that weren’t there before, but I am learning to cope with them. Best part is that everyone in my family is a tremendous help in that (knock on wood once, twice, thrice!) My married status hits me at random moments. Sometimes when I push back the chura from my wrists while typing a post, sometimes when I catch a reflection of the sindoor peeking between the hair on my forehead, sometimes when I wipe the sweat off my neck and my fingers brush the mangalsutra. I draw a blank when people ask me how is life after marriage, but when I wake up in the middle of the night and my hand brushes against my husband’s I think and realise, life is good…