Sunday, June 27, 2010

Mish Mash of thoughts....

Am so worried if I'll make a good mom.... so much so that the thought keeps me awake for hours at night. But then, I read an article the other day that said don't bother about the worry. The very fact that you are worried means you are concerned and the ones that don't make fabulous moms are the ones that are not worried... hmm... food for thought?

But there is so much to be done and the impending changes can be overwhelming at times... i now know what pregnancy related stress is all about... I had my baby shower last week. The Indian version of it - Godh Bharai... quite an experience and was so glad that my parents and bro could make it :) I feel so comfortable in mum's presence... almost as if nothing can go wrong while she is around.... wonder if I can instill that feeling into my own child... the nesting instinct is starting to kick in. I wanna buy stuff for my baby... there is a mental checklist of things to get done before the baby arrives... i totally need to write it down and start executing...

Oh and the kicks! I had been feeling the baby's movements for a while now, wonderful strange and sometimes weird! But the kicks are more energy packed now... my belly shakes and the movement can be seen from outside too... the first time that happened, I was like "holy crap, there is a human in there!!! A real live human" It is at times like these that the significance of what is happening hits me... at others, it is about tests, medicines, eating etc... speaking of tests, I have had my second test scare yesterday. The first was early on in the pregnancy. It was my first batch of tests and when I got the reports, we did a bit of net research on what it was all about. I spent perhaps the scariest and saddest two hours of my life then... until further probing into the results told us there was nothing to worry about... i might blog about the incident later but then it was a lesson learnt - half knowledge is extremely dangerous! In fact on my last trip, my doc said the same thing - that if something was wrong, she'd be alarmed and let me know... i should leave that part to her and not stress... trust your doc! So this time, i plan to do exactly that...

The heat here is still bad... add to that the power cuts and the ppl at work shut the AC! Can you imagine being couped up in a 10ft x 10 ft room with no windows and 5 other ppl? No ac in this heat? I might as well be working out of a sauna... Cost cutting is more important than the employees' health right? No one will quit the job because the ac in the office doesn't work. Hmph... I wonder if it is only the Indian offices that suffer this attitude, how will the guys in our international offices react if the air con was killed in the middle of such sweltering afternoons...

Hmm... the custard in the fridge beckons... so i am off!