Wednesday, July 07, 2010

Dilemma...

As kids, we are taught not to discuss the intimate details of our personal lives with those outside our innermost circle. And for an Indian family, the innermost circle is the family or part of it. We are told to be guarded about what we tell others, we don't know who might exploit the info we give out. This distrust gets planted into us and we are forced to view everyone with a hint of suspicion - we don't know the true face of the persons we deal with.


Image Courtesy: http://www.civilization.ca/

We don't know who they hob nob with and what lies beneath their friendliness. So we open up only a part of our lives to them and are always conflicted about what to share and what not to share. Case in point, my pregnancy. A lot of my friends (close, at one time) still do not know about it and people in blogsphere do! Somehow, I don't feel the urge to declare it on FB or call and mail each of them. Not that I don't trust my friends, its just that I don't feel like it. And then there is this blog. I am forever confused how much of life's detail should appear here! I have read blogs where the blogger shares their daily life with abandon. We know the colour of their living room sofa, the nap times of their kids, their boss's most irritating habit or their spouse's most adoring trait. It is their blog and their life. They can share what they want unless they get offensive. Except for one incident with a fellow blogger where I told her what I thought about her blog contents, I have kept my thoughts to myself. More so after the incident mentioned above :) A lesson learnt I would say. Anyway, I digress. What I was getting at is that I never know to what extent I should let readers into my life. That is one reason perhaps I have never put pics of myself on the blog. I love putting up pics... be it my random photography ones or from a trip or a party! Those connected with me on FB and picassa know that ;) I have let very few bloggers into my life and that too after they have crossed a threshold of familiarity... some of my wonderful friends are from this sphere and yet, I feel wary about all that I leave open for the public to read... It is a constant debate about which way to go.... you guys ever face that?


Image Courtesy: http://community.momlogic.com

The last week has been difficult... lots of pain and discomfort in addition to anticipation of the baby's arrival! There were times I wanted to share that on the blog, but just held back. Sometimes, its easy to let things out behind a veil of anonymity. Yet, I dunno what made me keep all of that inside me. All my fears and worries, some of them still very much alive... some of them still growing!

On another note,my college friend was 7 weeks ahead of me and she had her baby last week... when i saw pics of her daughter kissing her, I just melted! :) And when the baby moves inside me, can't ever describe that feeling... guess the nine months are nature's way of developing a woman's maternal instincts... There is lots to be done before the baby arrives... am just hoping all goes well....!