Tuesday, September 21, 2010

The wait is over!

She has taken over my life like nothing ever had. No hobby, no exam, not even my wedding! The last 15 days of being Kuhu's mom have changed my days into nights into cycles of feed, pacify and clean... I am living the new mommy nightmare of sleep deprivation. And yet, I feel no anger or resentment toward her. Or is it too early to be making this comment? LOL!!! Experienced mums, please tell me. I'd made a vow to myself that I will not lose myself after my baby is born. But I find that very hard to keep now. Every single action of mine is governed by her. Her needs, her wants and whims! Oh and does she have whims :)

Even as I struggle to do the daily chores, I know that I will have to find a balance soon. My maternity leave will be over before I know it and I will have to join back at work. I am yet to find help and train her, yet to get the confidence that I can leave my baby with someone for the whole day. Right now, just thinking about it breaks my heart...